To My Grandma, Mama Tani

“Classy” she used to call me. Whenever I went to see her, you could feel the love she has for us, it was so real, I could even touch it. She would go out of her way to make us feel better, if one of us did not have lunch, she would never settle down. She gave us everything she could, she was the most generous soul I have ever known, she did not want anything for herself, she just wanted some time with us. Oh how I wish I could give you all the time in the world.

She was not generous to us only, she was generous to everyone. When I was driving her back home, if someone asked for money on a traffic light, and she did not have any, she would feel so guilty, she’d be upset for the whole night.

Her laugh was so contagious. As she grown older, her laugh became rarer. But whenever I see it, I could feel the youth in her, the little kid that laughs at the silliest old stories, and make us all laugh.

I’ll really miss her telling me “Mashallah, you look so handsome. Please marry a Jordanian girl”. I miss her holding my arm while we getting up the stairs of her home, and on each step, she would apologize for the trouble. Oh how I wish you would hold my arm right now.

I’ll miss giving her back massage, feeling her old bones and muscles getting relaxed. As she would feel better, and as always, apologizes for the trouble. She would even hurry me up just because she did not want me to feel tired, even though the pain she was in was unbearable.

I’ll miss how I used to sing to her in the car, and she would actually like it… Have you heard my voice? It’s terrible. Yet she loved it.

I believe that Allah will bring you all the peace and comfort that you deserve. Mama Tani, Oktobi Allah.