I know how tough it is to be stuck in this sense of doom. I know how frightening it is the thought that this would never stop. Will anxiety stop? Will I be ever cured from anxiety? Will I be able to do the things I’d love to do? Will I be alone forever?
Living with anxiety disorder is hectic. You sometimes feel as if you do not deserve to live, as if you are just a whiny child living in an adult body. You think to yourself
“How come people are still around me? How come people are still trying to support me? My problems are not real, there are a lot of people facing a lot more everyday, and they do not whine, while I fear to drive my car. Will I ever be brave?”
You start to hate yourself.
First, saying you want to cure anxiety is like saying you want to cure anger or happiness, they are all only emotions people always feel depending on the situation they are in. What you need to cure is your response to anxiety, and YES it is curable. Anxiety will never stop, but it will stop making your life worse, which is what you want, if you know how to respond to it correctly. You will be able to do the things you love once you start to change your perspective to anxiety. And no, you will not be alone forever.
I bet you while you’re reading this, some person came to your mind, that is beside you all the time, even though you think you do not deserve it. they always try their best to make you feel better, a lot of times it doesn’t work, but they never give up on you. You know why? It is because they love you. Love is much stronger than your anxiety, the ones who love you will never have the thought that you’re making their life worse. They love you unconditionally, and they want you to be happy, because they want to be happy.
In his book Man’s Search for Meaning, Victor Frankl tells a story about an old man, who has lost his wife recently. The man is suffering so much, he’s suffering because he has lost someone whom he had loved for a very long time. Victor told him something that has changed his perceptive to this suffering forever. He told him the meaning in his suffering. He told him to imagine if he is the one who passed away and left his wife behind, how would she have felt? She would be devastated, she would feel alone. He told him that he is sacrificing and feeling this suffering because he does not want a loved one to feel this way.
Your suffering has meaning, it may changes through life, but if you know what is the meaning in your suffering, you will be able to look at it differently. Maybe what you are going through right now is because you want only the ones who really love you to be around you. Maybe it is because you want to make your loved ones happy once you conquer it. For me, I see the meaning in my suffering is that I need to understand anxiety and experience it in order to be able to help people get through it.
You are not alone, you are loved. Start loving yourself by understanding the meaning of your suffering.